Well, that losing weight thing obviously did not work.

Then.

Now, I am doing rather well in that department! Er… relatively well.

Six pounds have been shed! Considering how much more I exercise than I used to, one would think that I would have lost much more than that. I blame my lack of consistency in terms of exercise and love of muffins.

Anyways, I have been jogging (up to thirty minutes without stopping) and biking (one hour, high resistance, no stopping) and it seems to be working! My legs are leaner and stronger and my pants fit better. And that is only after six pounds!

I am excited to see how the rest of the weight looks when it is no longer on me.

I have been unable to jog recently thanks to a pretty gnarly shin splint, but the bike does not seem to bother the injury at all. Speaking of which, the time has come for me to ride off into the sunset! (Not really. The bike does not move.)

Peace!
Sophiebeee

That, and we miss the good old days when we were thin(er).

So here’s the deal: I am going to stop bringing money to school. Not only will this help me lose weight, but it will stop up the hole that seems to have developed in my pocket/wallet/whatever. I seriously spend my cash way too fast.

If I ask you if I can borrow money, say NO. If I try to manipulate you and say, “but I haven’t eaten in SO LONG,” I am probably lying. DO NOT LET ME MANIPULATE YOU.

Whenever I want to post I will tell you people how goeth The Countdown. I will have to say how far away from my goal I am after every bloody post. Sheesh this is going to be embarrassing, but my situation calls for drastic measures, methinks!

I can do it! I have done it before.

THEN:

See! Lookie there!

NOW:

Ewewewewew gosh ew.

So… I haven’t weighed myself in a while. I have no idea how far away I am, but I’m thinking it’s something like 15 kg. Gosh.

Gosh.

Oh, yes. She most certainly does. This girl has many sides, and she just keeps sprouting more and more of them.

The side that has been pushing itself forward, slowly but surely, is the defiant, cheeky side. The side that says, “These people are idiots, I might as well tell them so.” The side that wants to cause a hell of a lot of trouble, and not give a shit about it.

Unfortunately, the other sides all agree that getting into trouble is not the best thing for Sophie to be doing en ce moment, so this Defiant side can’t just cause trouble, she has to be able to sweet talk her way out of it.

Sheesh.

When I feel like this, I’ll call myself… hmm, what should I call myself? I like Jordan. Yeah, that sounds good.

I am very possibly a freak for giving my Moods names. I used to name my toys, too and it made it very hard to let go of some of them come puberty when I was no longer pleased with the piles of childhood that littered my floor.

That’s me and Non-Terd outside the mall. I only got to see her that once the ENTIRE TIME I was in the US, and we only got to hang out for like… 2 minutes. There was a line of cars behind my mom’s waiting for us to finish hugging and squealing and shtuff…

I’m loving that shiny spot on my forehead, the gumzz in my smile, and the white spot on my front tooth.

Tres glam. _-_

It was COLD.

I may very well be insane.

[:

Yamaha told me to act bimbo, so there I am… acting bimbo.

These past few days have been crazy, but fun.

I think I passed my math test, though not by much. My marks certainly won’t be impressing anybody. I should practice more instead of piercing holes in various parts of my body.

Yesterday, Lena wanted to pierce her ear so Yamaha, Fanta and I went with her to Bugis and ended up getting ours done, too. Lena’s was freakin nice because she got it kind of in the middle of her ear… like where my second one is or maybe a bit lower. Hers is the crystally stone type thing so it looks feminine and perfect. I love mine, but it is totally punk; a word not generally used to describe me.

Today, Lenny, Lena, Yamaha, Fanta, Sam and I all went to Sege where they ALL (except Sam) got their belly buttons pierced. CRAZY right? I couldn’t believe it. The piercing looks really nice, though. Especially on Lenny. I LOVE Fanta’s color: green.

Lena: Red
Lenny: Purple (or was it blue?)
Yamaha: …I can’t remember.
Fanta: pretty pretty green!

Before that, they were teaching me some funny Chinese saying that’s basically how Singapore is so wonderful with it’s green trees or something. SUPER CUTE! We said it in cannons until some lady scolded us for “making fun of the Chinese language”. Lenny was like, “WTF” so she started singing it again and then the lady took a picture of us… It was super crap and I’m pretty sure she’s going to report the incident to our school or the paper or something. It sucks because I would really like to stop getting into trouble. Sigh.

I think red bull makes my posts seem very “bimbo”. I’ll stop writing before I embarrass myself further. [:

Tell me if you know what my title is in reference to. I’ll give you a hint: it’s a movie.

Guess what I did yesterday!

Wow, you people are slow. OK, you can have another hint.

Haha, yes! I got my ear pierced! I am now the proud owner of 7 ear holes, total. 3 on my left and 4 on my right. I wanted to pierce the left ear, but it has been left kind of baldy by my fringe, so I would have gotten caught by zee teachers. However, my hair does covers my right ear so… yeah.

I am so sneaky sneaky, right?

Did I mention that my parents don’t know about it? Well, they don’t, so don’t say anything. [:

For the full, hilarious story, see Miss Fanta’s blog.  ^^

Much love!

edit: I just realized I used my name twice in this post. Oh well, the picture says Hannah not Sophie and I can’t exactly edit the picture.

It was… a Thursday night. No, a Wednesday night. Actually… yeah, it was a Thursday night. Generally, Thursdays are pretty boring for me, so I was surprised. This was definitely a Wednesday dream.

I don’t remember exactly how it started out, but it was a doozy. It was one of those dreams that lasts the whole night. Seriously, I felt like I was awake for 7 hours out of my nine (I didn’t have to go to school till late on Friday).

Anyways, the first thing I remember is being outside a 7-11 with Lenny, Yamaha, and Shelby. Lenny had, amazingly, managed to buy a bottle of some kind of alcohol. We sat in a circle on the concrete steps outside — while police loitered nearby, I might add — and took turns sipping from the brightly colored bottle. When it was passed to me, I took one sip and everything turned kind of fuzzy. That was the last thing I “remembered”.

I “woke up” the next day somehow back in my house with an extra hole in my ear. Obviously, I had gotten it pierced, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember when I had done so. I had a horrible feeling that I had spent the last day running around in a drunken craze, terrorizing the general public.

I spent a few dream hours trying to piece together what happened during that day of drink — a puzzle I still haven’t solved — and then somehow, I ended up in my old Ohio neighborhood, standing in front of Dink’s old house.

I was ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door but no one answered. I suddenly became uncomfortably aware of a huge, sharp stick in my hand, and it occurred to be that I might be visiting Dink and her family so I could kill them. I had no idea why I was going to kill them, but I certainly didn’t want to so I ran away.

Let me tell you, in this dream I could run. I ran fast all around our old neighborhood, but in particular down this one really weird street… I don’t know why, but I kept seeing the same street corner, and it didn’t seem strange at all. Actually, it felt pretty normal.

So, I was running, and then I was running in a race. With aliens and one shirtless black guy, but he was an alien on the inside — something I only realized later. We were on a dusty dirt road, and I was faster than all of them except the black guy, who had this crazy huge smile and looked like he was having an awesome time. He ran right beside me.

It then occurred to me that I knew the guy, and that we were very possibly friends. Dream Sophie found this idea perfectly plausible, like she had been aware of this fact all along but failed to mention it to me.

I was still staring at his crazy smile trying to remember how I knew him when his face exploded outward. His smile — amazingly intact — flew past my head and landed in the field behind me. The rest of his face was a bloody mess. I only realized that he had been shot when the sniper bastard shot me in my right arm (which is actually sore now, probably due more to the twisted position I found myself in when I woke than to the the sniper shot).
The black guy’s skin kind of… crumpled away. It was like watching a flower dry up really quickly, or watching leaves burn. Underneath was this medium-sized, brownish, ET-like alien who wasn’t smiling at all but giving me that thisisallyourfault, ET-ish look.

He died, and it was like… I could see myself without looking at myself. I was an alien, too, but because I couldn’t actually see myself, I have no idea what I looked like

I’m pretty sure that’s when the dream ended.

My face is positively dripping from cold that I seem to have developed in the last couple of hours, so I’ll save my analysis for later. Any thoughts would be appreciated, though. Assuming you were able to pay attention throughout that long recount. ^^

PS. I figured it might be easier to make sure that no teachers or parents know who I am if I change the name I use on this blog. I guess I’ll just be Sophie.

Funny actually, I first used that name on neopets because I didn’t want any pedophiles to be able to hunt me down.

If I end up creating another personality out of confusion, I’m suing.

Also changed the names of everyone else I mentioned (kind of). For some of them I used existing nicknames, but for the rest I kind of just… randomly made them up. If you want me to call you something specific then, by all means, send me your suggestion.

I went back to my old posts and changed the names, too. I felt like Big Brother, and it felt good. Haha, joking.

About the good-feeling thing, not about the changing thing.

Well, three years later and I’m in some serious emo depressing shit. Either I can’t sleep or I sleep for HOURS. Either I can’t eat or I stuff my face. It’s like my body refuses to function normally.

Personally, I’d prefer the sleeping all the time and not eating combo. It really does wonders for your skin. I wonder if I can trick my body into going back to that one.

Whatever, I just feel like crap on toast. I have a LOT to do and suddenly I don’t think I’ve been serious enough all along. I don’t do the stupid stuff anymore like all my friends do, but I still feel like a slacker. The problem is, when I don’t do the stupid stuff, I don’t feel like I’m all there… Like I’m just kind of hanging around the edges. You all should know how much I love to be in the center of things, right in the middle of all the excitement. I can’t stand being on the outside looking in. But sometimes I wonder if that’s the only way I can achieve all that I want to.

On another note…

I don’t like depending on people, but it’s what I do. Without stupid Lenny I would probably wouldn’t do half the idiotic things I do, but I don’t care. I want her around. I would say I need her around but then I would sound like a lesbian or something and that’s definitely a discussion I don’t feel like having.

You know what? Never mind. I need her and Fanta and Sam and Manny and even Tammy and all the people that make me feel like I’m not just another bit of human waste floating around.

I really need a drink. Or a party. Something to snap me out of this stupid self-loathing self-destructive mood.

Maybe some pictures.

hahah, fer sure. Not really. Canada’s OK by me, I just thought this was funneh.

I still laugh when I see this. ^^

That’s Terd executin’ some moves on the park bench, hahaha.

Me trying (and failing) to be cute. Oooh, I want long nails again. So fun to tappy tap.

.

Earlier…

.

(6:50 PM) faith.:	NOOB
(6:50 PM) faith.:	haha
(6:50 PM) [sundog] there..:	what is everyone talking about?
(6:50 PM) faith.:	loser
(6:50 PM) faith.:	hAHAHAH
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	WHY AM I A BOOB?
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	*JN))@
(6:50 PM) faith.:	we were spamming
(6:50 PM) faith.:	NOOB
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	*N00B!!!
(6:50 PM) faith.:	not BOOB
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	OMG
(6:50 PM) faith.:	lol
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	WHOOPS
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	HAHAHAHA
(6:50 PM) YAMAHA<3:	LOL BOOB
(6:50 PM) faith.:	you wanna be a BOOB?
(6:50 PM) YAMAHA<3:	HAHAHA
(6:50 PM) faith.:	LOL
(6:50 PM) [sundog] there..:
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	I am 4 years old
(6:50 PM) faith.:	ok SOPHIE the BOOB
(6:50 PM) faith.:	lol
(6:50 PM) [sundog] there..:	faith ar
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	nononono
(6:50 PM) HOYEEE<3:	boob
(6:50 PM) faith.:	haha
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	I don’t want that nick name!
(6:50 PM) YAMAHA<3:	SOPHIE IS A BOOB
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	NO
(6:50 PM) HOYEEE<3:	lollllllllllllllllllll
(6:50 PM) [sundog] there..:	…
(6:50 PM) faith.:	eh i said NOOB ok sundog
(6:50 PM) YAMAHA<3:	lmao
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
(6:50 PM) [sundog] there..:	BOOBY SOPHIE
(6:50 PM) || seriously?:	I am going to cry.

The trouble began the day before the actual event, when I left my phone at the bus stop. Now, many of you may know that I had bought a phone off of my friend, and was only pretending to use the shitty one my parents gave me. So, when I lost my phone, I had a back-up SIM card (a prepaid one) and phone (the shitty one).

I was faced with a choice: Admit to my disobedience and use the shitty phone for the rest of my Singapore days, OR pretend I lost the shitty phone, and hope that my parents would buy eventually me a new one.

I chose the latter. So, the night before my 16th birthday, I was phone-less. Any happy birthday calls or messages were lost forever. I felt alone, alone, alone, and so stressed and tired. I spent 20 minutes sobbing my sad case to my father, who tactfully told me to stop pouting — he had a nice buzz going on at that point, so I don’t blame him for being unsympathetic.

I studied for a few hours, and then laid in my bed and watched the minutes drag by, until finally it was 00:00 and I was 16 years old. (Technically, that wouldn’t happen till roughly 8 hours later.) At that moment I felt so very pathetic. I had spent the night of my sixteenth birthday studying for a Biology test, and being alone.

I got online to distract myself, and imagine my surprise when I suddenly had 4 minutes to go until 16. James kept me company, but shortly after the clock hit 12 for a second time, I felt the tears coming. So, I went back to bed and a once my head hit the pillow, it started.

Boy, did I cry.

Two hours of crying.

It was pretty crazy. I just kept thinking how pathetic I was and how pathetic this birthday was; the sound of my crying would make me cry even more and it was not good.

The day of wasn’t so bad. I got to school and pouted a bit. (Meaning, I put my bag in class then proceeded to the abandoned Hall Girl’s Toilet to cry and study Bio some more.) At recess, I found that the class had bought a cake for my birthday. They sang happy birthday four times (two chants and two slow — agonizingly slow, and loud — singing sessions). Then Lenny smashed the last bit of the cake into my face. I tried to throw some back at her but she ran too fast, so I settled for Shelby. Her reaction was to chuck her cup of Milo at me. So, I had a gigantic brown stain on the back of my white — then, transparent-ish — school shirt. That was… interesting.

Watched Lord of the Rings in English.
Went to French and pouted some more (though, I was pouting about French and the difficulties associated with the language).
Went home and ate pizza (a lot of pizza) and opened my present from my parents. They gave me a stereo that my iPod could plug into.

The next day I got a few sorry-I-forgot presents, and it was okay because it was Friday.

Saturday I ended up going out with my friends. First, I waited for an hour by the bridge, before I went home to call them and yell at them. They responded with, “What are you talking about? We’re here already lah dumb ass!” I was pretty much like, ¬_¬. So, I walked there and Lenny and Fanta met me and my dog and we walked back to my house, where we chilled for a while before meeting the others at the mall.

We ice-skated (for some reason, I always want to say “ice-skat”), which was fun except for the fact that the skin on both sides of both of my feet was worn away by those bloody skates. The 4 band aids on my legs make me look like I have OCD, and just have them there to be symmetrical or something. Though, it does feel nice to be so even.

My friends decided to go for a midnight movie, but since my parents suck they enforced the curfew. I had to go home at 10 and sleep (on a Saturday!) while they all went out and had fun without me.

On Monday, Lenny presented me a bag o’ presents from the whole crew, so that was happy. All lovely things. My favorite was the pack of earring studs. It has like a zillion colors, which is happy. Second favorite would be PS, I Love You, the book. (Did I mention that I downloaded the score from that movie? Haha…)

So, yes. There were some good moments, but overall the whole thing sucked.

The bell has rung, so I must fly!